The magic feather! Now you can fly!

I have just returned from Disneyland Paris. The happiest place on earth. It did bring me happiness. Time with my two cousins, and time with my 4 year old niece. The most beautiful, care-free and funny child in the world. She drives me mad, but I can not explain my love for her. It is her face that I see when I really think about my move to Manchester, even though she has a younger sister and I have a further niece and nephew with whom I am just as close. Maybe it is because they are so young that I don't crave their company like Skye's.
I have had a lot of perspective. I think I decided for real that I was moving about a week ago, but I have just told people today, funny as that is when my final offer came through, the last thing I needed before I could officially make the decision. I took it as a positive sign, like so many things recently. I am thankful for a lot of things right now, my incredible family for one. My father who works so hard to provide everything I have ever wanted, my big brother who is my best friend, who would protect me from anyone or anything, and trusts no one when it comes to me. And my mother, my mam, the most perfect woman to walk the planet, I genuinely aspire to have her strength one day. Her stable marriage with my father, her relationships with her friends, her amazing maternal instincts. I am so lucky to have her. But most of all, right now, I am thankful for my grandparents, both of whom I lost last year. We are in the process of selling their home, we leave for good on the 1st of April. I suddenly become £50,000 richer. They have given me the push, and the finances to be able to go and do whatever I want next year, to live in the nicer apartment, and to go without any worries or cares. I would pay ten times that to have 10 more minutes with either one of them. Guiltily my grandmother more so, I wouldn't even have to say a word to her. I take great peace in knowing that the last thing that I ever said to her was 'I love you'. Because I did, I do. I miss her so much it is actually a physical ache some times. She was taken so quickly, but I am glad we got the short time we did knowing her fate. It allowed me to say what I wanted, it allowed me to lie in bed with her and hold her hand until we both fell asleep, it gave us time to laugh about things, cry about others, but we always held hands, held on to each other, comforting and knowing. I know my brother was the favourite of the two grandchildren she had. That was always ok with me, I was her only granddaughter and I know she loved me unconditionally and incredibly. Sometimes I forget that she won't be there for certain things, like my graduation, or my wedding, she would have so loved to see me get married and start a family and be a success. I know she was proud of me though, I know that she knew I would figure it out, I don't think she had the same reassurance with my brother, even though he has always figured it out and things always work out for him. But as I will soon have to go to the shell of their empty home I am thankful for one thing, that they were my grandparents. I love you, I miss you every day, I no longer fear death because I know that you are both up there, that gives me a lifetime of peace...thankyou.